“Give others all that is alive in us-our interest,
understanding, our knowledge, our humor,
everything in us that’s good. In doing so, we
enhance the sense of aliveness in others
while enhancing our own. When we give, we
get a “heightened vitality” of what it means to
be human.” – Erich Fromm
True giving comes from the same place inside
you as your deepest happiness. They are
inexplicably intertwined. A gift is something
that is enjoyed twice. First by the giver who
revels in the pleasure of giving something
special and then also enjoyed by the person
who receives the gift.
With our changing economic times, everyone
is asking for help in some form. There are as
many reasons to give as there are ways to
give. Some people give for recognition. They
want their names in programs, on park
benches and in hospital lobbies. Others give
expecting to be paid back or thanked, they
give to get. Some people want a hands-on-
experience and are generous with their time.
Some like to give anonymously and don’t want
any recognition at all.
People who truly master the art of giving give
out of the goodness of their hearts with no
self-serving motives. Giving becomes a
blessing for the giver and receiver. It’s human
nature to believe, “When I have more I’ll give
more.” If you come from this mentality you
never have enough of anything to give.
Generosity is a choice that feels right and
joyful. Generosity comes from believing you
have enough to share.
You may be a bit skeptical, wondering what
exactly do you have to give? Everybody has
something of value for another person. It
could be a kind word, a simple smile, some
appreciation, the sharing of some special
knowledge, even a helping hand or a bit of
support during a difficult emotional time. You
have something to give everyone.
The act of true giving is something wonderful
and amazing. With most things in this world,
there is only a limited amount of what you
can give away. Fortunately, generosity and
kindness are not bound to these same
material limitations. One of life’s most basic
laws is “every single act of love, kindness and
generosity will multiply and return to you
many times over “. The more you give the
happier you will feel.
Many thousands of years ago a great sage in
Babylon said “The reward of charity depends
entirely upon the extent of the kindness in it.”
It is one of life’s wonderful paradoxes that you
limit the power of your giving by having an
expectation of getting something in return.
When you give without any thought or desire
for something back, your returns will be truly
Your life is like a river of energy, continually
flowing. What happens when a river stops
moving? It get very muddy, and stagnant. A
fast flowing river is full of life and clear
water. Where would you rather drink? The
acts of giving and receiving are a continuous
process of circulation that continues the flow
of your life’s energies. For one person to
receive someone else has to give. It’s a cycle
of energy that flows continually onwards.
Pause for as moment as you read this, and
take a big, deep breath. Hold it for as long as
you possibly can. As you hold it inside, notice
how uncomfortable you begin to feel when
you are holding on to something that is meant
to be released. Now, breath out, completely
and hold your breath with your lungs fully
emptied. Feel how uncomfortable you feel
when you are resisting taking in something
that you need.
True giving, without expectation of anything
in return is as effortless as breathing. How
often do you expect back from the person you
gave something to a gift of a similar or greater
value? Is this true giving or merely an
unvoiced expectation of an exchange of
similar goods? Have you ever heard anyone
saying ” I just give and give and give until I
have nothing left “? This behavior has many
other names. Self denial, self pity, martyrdom,
self righteousness to name just a few.
This is an ego based form of giving. It is
giving with an expectation of something in
return. In reality, this is not giving at all but
an un-vocalized form of barter. If, through the
act of giving, you feel that you have “lost
something or are somehow lessened” then the
gift was not truly given from your heart. Truly
giving something from the heart is an action
which will fill your life with joy. This is
where the expression to “give whole
heartedly” comes from.
The intention behind your giving is the most
important thing. The intention should always
be to create happiness for both the giver and
the receiver. If you experience resentment
and a feeling of “I don’t really want to give
this to this person, but I feel that I have to” or
“I really should give them something,” this is
probably what ultimately will come back to
you. Perhaps in this case, you need to
consider not giving the gift at all!
What you give out is what comes back in
direct proportions to the feelings you have in
the act of giving. It’s very simple. If you want
to experience more joy, give joy to others, if
you want more love, learn to give love, if you
want attention and appreciation, learn to give
appreciation to others. These are some of
life’s most precious gifts and they don’t cost
you anything. When you meet someone, you
can silently send them a blessing, wishing
them happiness, joy and laughter. This kind
of silent giving is very powerful. Do this,
(with no thought of return) and you will
suddenly find people around you opening to
you in joy and happiness.
In ancient China, Lao Tsu wrote “Kindness in
words creates confidence. Kindness in
thinking creates profoundness. Kindness in
Giving Creates Love.”
The following are gifts we all have that can
Give of Your Talents
Give someone an hour of coaching, offer child
care or do you have plumbing, painting, or
landscaping skills? Give things. Clean your home
and clear out your closet of unwanted things.
Give what you don’t use or need to charity. Your
junk is someone else’s treasure.
Give blood ,,, FUNNY right?
Save a life. I’ve done this on several occasions;
it’s a great feeling to know you are helping to
save someone’s life.
Give of yourself
Make someone feel loved, special and
appreciated with a visit, phone call, email, text
or card. Give a handmade gift. Give praise,
gratitude and appreciation. This creates heart-
Give a recommendation
Enrich someone’s life by sharing the discovery
of a great blog, book, restaurant, product or
service. The message you give is “This was a
great find for me and I want to share it with
Give the gift of laughter
Laughter brings health and happiness to others.
It offers physiological, psychological and spiritual
benefits. Laugh loud and laugh often with
Give an invitation
Being invited to any kind of event means people
want to be with you. When you invite someone
into your life you are saying, “I want to spend
time with you, you are important to me.
Appropriately offer a hug, a kiss on the cheek, a
pat on the back, a touch on an arm or a tender
look. We never lose the need for affection and
acceptance. Touching heals emotional wounds.
Give good advice
Ask the question, “Do you want advice or to you
want me to listen.” If needed and wanted advice
can be life-saving. Shared insights and wisdom is
a precious gift.
When people are filled with doubt and fear they
lack courage. When you inspire and motivate
someone to act on their dreams, it can be life
changing. You are making the world a better
Give without keeping score
Real giving is expecting nothing in return. Give
when you have the opportunity not because you
received something and want to return the
favor. Never hesitate to give because you gave
Forgiveness offers healing to family, friends,
coworkers and neighbors. Forgive yourself and
others in spite of memories of unlovable times.
Drop the story of what they did and what you did
and the meaning you have given it.
Giving stuff is easy. We usually don’t need or
want it… But almost everyone likes to hang on
to their money. Giving away money is more
difficult because it means less for you. Give
money because others need it. Give money
because we’re dependent on one another.
Give an act of kindness
Kindness is the easiest and most abundant gift
we have to give away. Buy Girl Scout cookies,
always open the door for the person behind you,
return your grocery cart, make cookies for your
neighbor. The list is endless. Kindness brings joy
to the giver, receiver and anyone witnessing the
It’s easy to love those who love us back.
Challenge yourself to give love to those who
deserve it the least. Make your love
unconditional. Make the world a more loving
place. Everyone will reap the benefits!
The act of giving precludes reciprocity of any
kind. It’s a manifestation of the love we feel
within, just bursting for a way out. True
giving flows freely from the heart, with the
full force of love and compassion and honest
selflessness propelling it forward. Anything
less is simply a disguised request for a
Give……and it will come back to you in good measures !!!!